Do you know I mean?

When I see people gather and stare at something

I only knew nothing

Cause my heads’ not there browsing through plastics

I don’t know about you but I have never been protected

I am never secure 

Till it becomes an excuse

That I use every single day

To keep myself awake and further away

And when I am truly alone would I doubt if I am okay

Just one of those days

Where you went dancing on your kitchen tiles

From left to right

Swinging shoulders from side to side

With your honeys holding you too tight

Right before you bring your hands down and feel easy inside

Floating away

For magic takes control tonight

I had a dream once when I was young

I dreamed that I was floating in a calm sea

Then I watched me sink slowly and then at still

There stood a blue whale as big as can be

Blue as my heart and eyes that was so sharp

I tried moving but I was frozen, cold and weak

She looked straight at me

Wondering how I am even here

Overwhelmed with fear of lonely

Curious; like she was talking 

Then I felt a sudden joy

A joy that so peaceful

One with the ocean, one with me

And when I woke up from that dream,

I felt so happy with ease

I will never forget her smile and tears

Wandering aimlessly
Fighting demons, fall too steep
I went backwards and hit on my knees
The shame awoken many of the fears
I brushed cowardly and spoke endlessly
Of how the hurt has toyed with ease
Now I want to get back
Back to where I should be
Falling deeper but only when I plead

I am not sure what to think of you thinking about me

It’s long gone and forever done

I want my heart back

Not broken, but fully charge

Ready to love 

Someone who sees what we are

I can’t write better since yesterday

You leave me without answers

That I asked myself everyday

Are you out there; are you listening?

Why is it so hard for us to be together

I need you, you need me

Isn’t this how it’s supposed to be?

I fall to my knees

You didn’t see this coming

One of us misread

Now I am broken

Wearing my heart on my sleeve

I watched the sunset freely

Everyday; like a dream

Fantasizing; what could have been

I shouldn’t have told you this

When my heart could not resist

I’m not whole when I’m alone

I thought you would call

Counting me on

I thought you need me more than I do now

Leaning towards

With your wide eyes open

I thought you needed me more

On my shoulder to cry on

Maybe it’s not there; here no more

The worst of my kind
Is wandering aimlessly
Through the night
Praying to the city
Wishing she will believe me
When I say we are not happy
With what has been happening
I saw faces, they look at me weirdly
Like I have no mercy
I only want some solidarity
Cause I am lonely
When I ask you something, I hope you are listening

Enough is enough,
I feel so shaken
Words pour through and then is rewritten
I am not that honest of who I wanted to be yet I am not so easy for the world to see
I tell you solemnly that this is my last heartbeat
I have decided for this is end of me

I was always good at hiding
Keeping my closet close to myself
I never was wandering why the birds don’t chirp at night
Something told me to never lose my sight
Of the wonders of humans right
Now I have always told the truth
Or if the truth was false, I would deny it
No words would slip from my tongue
Now you say, I’m cold
That I am mean
I sit here wondering “how it has been?”
That you still leaning towards me